Exercise

The shirt reads, "Aaahhh... Tell me more about this "exercise" of which you speak.

Deceiving the Mind of a Child

HER: Make lunches for the kids. There's only two slices of bread left, so make bologna roll-ups for Brad and Julian, and make a Peanut Butter Fluff for Donovan.

ME: I'll go buy some bread at Mr. Mike's.

HER: You don't have time.

ME: We don't leave for school for 20-minutes, I can be in and out of Mr. Mike's and back here in 10 minutes.

HER: I'm leaving in 5 minutes.

ME: Sooooo ...

HER: Fine, I'll make the sandwiches.

ME: [confused] Ummm, what just happened here?

HER: [tears] Would you just do what I ask?

ME: [looking at the calender, noticing the skull and cross bones that I've made in light pencil, starting today and continuing for the next 5 days -- it's THAT time of the month] Right. Sure.

HER: [much slamming of keys and stomping, grabbing tissues from a box]

ME, MOSTLY TALKING TO MYSELF: There's only two slices of bread ...

HER: I said that. Just make--

ME: Don doesn't like the heel.

Why do we call the end part of the bread "the heel"? Whoever thought THAT would make sense, that people would want to eat "the heel" of ANYTHING?

HER: Just turn the heel upside down and put the fluff on the crusty side of the bread. He'll never know the difference.

ME: You want me to deceive my child, trick him into thinking he's got a sandwich made with the yummy inner parts of the loaf of bread, by smearing fluffer nutter on the crusty side of the bread.

HER: [more slamming, more stomping] Goddamn it, JP.

Forgive me, Donovan, when I'm old and grey. And please -- don't give me sandwiches in the nursing home, made with the heel side of the bread turned inside to the sandwich.

My Artistic Babysitter

Hanging from the door of my bathroom, for reasons that are completely unknown to me, is a picture drawn by my babysitter, and my three kids at the local pet store. She's quite talented, don't you think?

I like how she colored Brad's eyes demonic red. I can just see him clutching the edge of the basket, rocking back and forth, and crying out "faster, faster" -- waking up all the sleeping puppies. Donovan is just a baby (this was YEARS AGO), starring up at her with rapt wonder. And that's either Julian or Harry Potter holding the bag of fish on the far right.

She didn't do her own "curves" justice, I wonder what the message is in that. Women, even those who are not normally self-conscious, don't seem to appreciate how good-looking they are. Ever. She's a cute kid, but she's made herself out to be very plain in this self portrait. And black slacks under a grey hooded sweathshirt ... what's up with that? I have no idea what that is on her cheek ...

It doesn't really match the rest of my bathroom decor, but it's a cute picture of the kids. And, well ... at least they're not drawn as snowmen.

First Things First

First thing in the morning, I usually find out that I've been sleeping WAY past the time I should have woken up. I roll out of bed (often literally) and into the bathroom. The Master Bathroom is right off the bedroom, which is kinda nice.

Why Do You Hurdle?

The reason for the baby-gate barricading the bedroom is the fluff ball in the window to the left of my bed. That's Milly, short for Milicent Margaret Amanda who was, of course, nicknamed Milly-Molly-Mandy (because Millicent Margaret Amanda is simply too long of a name). But I'm getting off track, even before I've really gotten on track.

Milly is a kitty. She lives in my bedroom because she hates dogs. That's normal, right? I mean, all cats hate dogs -- and it's a shared hatred.

Cat people would say, "Get rid of the dogs, then you can take down the baby gate." But I kinda like having dogs, especially now that I'm running again. I like having a running partner.

Dog people would say, "Get rid of the cat, then you can take down the baby gate." But my wife is allergic to cats, and, well ... nothing else on that topic really needs to be said.

This is a bad picture, because of the way the sun shines in the window. I'm not sure how to improve this shot (avoiding window glare) other than taking a picture earlier in the day (before the sun is resting on the back side of the house). I really wanted to show how "Feng Shui" minded I am, always striving to find Inner Harmony.

I sleep on the left (the side that Milly's on).

Bedroom Hurdles

This is a baby gate, which barricades the entrance of my bedroom. It stands 32" in height, which is just BARELY high enough for me to straddle on both sides without injuring myself. The gate is one of those annoyances of my married life, something I tolerate, because it's really not worth fighting about. So every morning and every night, I swing my leg over the hurdle and finish the maneuver with a short jump to clear it.

Of course, I don't HAVE to leap over it. I could unclasp the middle section, which would draw the two portions of the gate in toward each other. Then I could move the gate aside, step past, turn about, stretch the gates apart, and refasten the clasp. But that just seems like so much work, just to walk through a simple doorway. So, I hurdle.

The purpose of the gate is to keep two dogs (1 greyhound, 1 junkyard mutt) from attacking the family cat, which lives in my bedroom. I *hate* this arrangement.

When I was a young boy, my parents had cats and dogs, and they lived in peace and harmony. Of course, we always had a period of "adjustment" when we brought a new animal home, but within a day or two, they were usually getting along just fine. I've suggested that we could do the same with our pets, but my wife insists that greyhounds who have been trained on live bait will never adjust. A tiny cat is no different, in their eyes, to a tasty little bunny.

And so, I hurdle.

First Thing I See When I Wake

The truth is, I write these blogs for one person and one person only. And while I might have an audience of 3-4 regular readers (although I'm not even sure if THEY stop by to read any more, given my recent six month absence from the blog), there is only one person I'm thinking of when I ramble these creative writings.

The thought occured to me that while I write to one person, I don't purposely seek out images that this person might specifically want to see. Instead, I show random glimpses of my world. So this next series of images and text were my attempt to change all that. But how?

Well, maybe I could navigate through my world, with my camera's eye, and show all the things I see from the moment I wake to the moment I go to sleep. I have no idea if that might be interesting or not, but I have to keep in mind that this is STILL a public blog

This is the first thing I see when I wake each morning. Those are my toes at the bottom, poking the blankets up from view. The double doors are opened wide, and the "dog barricade" blocks the lower third of the exit way (more on that in tomorrow's blog). The picture that hangs above the doorway is a painting of the pathway at the end of Ashton Street, Higgins Beach, as it leads to the ocean. Higgin's Beach is my favorite place on the entire planet, and I particularly like this painting. It gives me the illusion, if only brief, that I can just walk directly from my bedroom to the beach, every day.

The ceiling fan is one of dozens that we have in every room of the house. We have no air conditioning, it usually doesn't get warm enough to warrent it, and the ceiling fans keep us pretty cool. I don't turn this one on very often, because it's got a dangerous wobble whenever it turns up. If I owned a step ladder, I might climb out and figure out why it wiggled and wobbled so much -- but this is the master bedroom, and it's not like it EVER gets too hot in here (you know, given that this is the shady side of the house and all).

PS - The picture of Higgin's Beach is kinda blurry. I'll get a better version to post of that soon!

Climbing the Wall

There are few things that all three of my children enjoy doing, but one of our favorite hobbies is Wall Climbing. Down at the YMCA where we have a family membership (ok, dysfunctional family membership -- 1 adult, 3 kids), they have a Wall Climbing room. The walls go up 2-3 stories, I'd judge almost 50', and there various pieces of wall mount attached into them -- square blocks of wood, metal rings, smooth and rough shaped objects.

The kids all had to take a 2-hour rock climbers training class, and there is a supervisor on-duty at all times. Each kid needs to tie his own harness (there's a special name for the knot you have to tie your harness with, but I never took the class, so I can't tell you what it is). They then need to call out special "codes" to the supervisor who is holding their rope -- indicating when they are "ready", "climbing" and "descending".

All of them really love it, and it's really fun to watch how "brave" they are. I don't think I'd climb 50' up a sheer (and sometimes even reverse incline!) wall.

A Boy and His Dog

Donovan (5) and Hilda (I have no idea how old she is), mugging it up for the camera. Wow, this little guy is getting sooooo big, all of my boys are!

Amazing Views from Space

I had a chance to sit with my Dad and a few old LIONE friends this past weekend, and some asked what had happened to my blog. I haven't posted here in ages (I almost forgot how), and decided I might as well start it up again.

I told them about the new online game I'm playing, Eve (http://www.eve-online.com/). This screenshot is a capture from that game. That's my Destroyer, "Adamant", flying beneath the rings of Omorphous. The scenes and images are amazing, and I'm having a lot of fun with it.

I'm not sure how religiously I'll be taking pics and posting here, but in the meanwhile -- check out my My Gaming Addiction blog, which you can access from the links on the right side.